Not Over You
by Blackswan86
Summary: Today was not about them. There was a more important matter to deal with, that came in the form of Neal's fiancé Tamara. Swanfire oneshot (Based on this week sneak peek)


**Hey Everyone, Sorry I haven't updated or wrote anything in a while. I had a break from writing. Anyway here is one-shot to get me back into the swing of writing.. Hope you guys like it. **

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**Not Over You**

Seeing Neal Cassidy again was never part of Emma Swan's plan. In fact it was very far from it. She had spent the last decade trying to convince herself that Neal was nothing but a bad guy and she was better off without him. But here she was now anxiously waiting for him on the docks of Storybrooke.

Emma sighed to herself; Neal was just how she remembered him, charming, flirtatious and cheeky. All the things she had come to despise in a man. Needless to say no matter how hard she had tried to ignore her growing feelings for him it had not worked, in fact it had only gotten worse.

_"One thing I know about you, you don't stop until you find what you're looking for!"_

She could still hear his voice in her head. She hated the fact he still knew her well enough to know exactly what she need to hear that evening. It infuriated her how even now he could still get under her skin. But today was not about them. There was a more important matter to deal with, that came in the form of Neal's fiancé Tamara.

_"Your super power has been known to be unreliable Emma… Especially when you're emotional…" _

Was her emotions clouding her judgement? No Mary Margaret was wrong, Tamara was up to something Emma knew it! But when it came to her heart, she knew her mother was always right. If Emma was honest with herself she would have known she could not ignore these feelings for much longer. What she had with Neal was very real and though they were broken and far from who they used to be, she could not shake this feeling that maybe they deserved another chance at happiness.

However her past experience with Neal was telling her to do what she did best and run. Emma had let her guard down once and she could not bear for him to shatter her heart a second time.

_ "Never again Swan.'_ She told herself. "_It's over. We have both moved on. He's engaged. I don't want him and I don't need him…I only asked to see him today to because of Tamara!"_ No matter how many times she had told herself the same over and over she still struggled to believe it. And neither did anyone else. But today wasn't about her heart; it was about Tamara. She knew she was right, now only if she could get Neal to see it too.

Emma jumped a little when she heard the sound of someone approaching along the dock. Looking up she could see her former partner in crime smiling at her with that annoying cheeky grin.

_Damn it! _He was not wearing his normal jacket and scarf. Instead he wore a shirt with the top three buttons undone. Emma could not stop her eyes trailing over his chest for a moment.

_'Please Swan don't go there… not now! '__Why did he have so look so good?_ There was no denying it. This was going to be difficult; _Damn it... Damn it… Damn it! _Why couldn't Neal ever make anything easy on her?

"Hey…" Neal smiled.

"Hey." Emma replied as her eyes fell to the floor. _Oh God! Here comes the awkward silence… _They both stood in silence for a moment, neither of them not quite sure what to say.

Neal coughed lightly clearing his throat. "I got your message… You said we needed to talk?"

Emma looked up at Neal. He stood perfectly still in front of her, his stance was wary and closed off. His hands were buried deep in his pockets. He held her gaze for a moment. A slight haze of confusion passed over his face before it was replaced with a blank stare, making his features impossible for Emma to read.

"Umm yeah…" Emma stuttered a little. _Come on get it together!_ "It's about Tamara…"

"Tamara?" Neal's eyes widen with surprise, he was slightly taken back. _Why did Emma want to talk about his fiancé?_

"How well do you know her?"

"What?" Neal's brow furrowed as he stared confused at Emma waiting for her to answer.

"I mean do you trust her?" Emma asked, biting her lip nervously.

Neal's brow creased again. "We're getting married."

"I know that!" Emma snapped. She was getting annoyed by Neal's answers. "But that's not what I asked…"

"I heard you, I just don't understand the question?" He replied.

Emma sighed in annoyance. "Look I saw her today in the diner and she had a list of everyone's names… Their real names,"

Neal raised his eyebrow "So?"

Emma could not help but roll her eyes. "So you don't think that's weird."_ Why was she the only one who seemed to think this was strange._

"Emma! What are you getting at?" He questioned dryly.

Emma sighed again. "I think she was the one August was trying to warn us about?" Neal raised his eyebrows at Emma who immediately flushed and turned her face away. She knew how ridiculous this all sounded. She nervously began chewing her bottom lip as she waited for his reply.

Neal looked at her for a second before he burst into laughter."You're joking right?" He chuckled.

Emma just shook her head. "Neal I'm serious." She replied looking at him with a straight face.

Neal raised his eyebrow in disbelief. "Emma come on…." He scoffed._  
_

"So you don't think its strange that the same day Tamara arrives in Storybrooke bad things start to happen." She was beginning to get frustrated with him.

"It was a coincidence." Neal replied casually but with a definitive tone. He wanted to but an end to this ridiculous exchange. But Emma was not having any of it.

"Coincidence! I thought everything happened for a reason!" She replied sarcastically.

Neal ran his hands through his hair. "What is this really about?" He asked.

Emma could feel herself getting flustered as she struggled with a reply. "It's about August ." She answered, trying her best to convince herself as much as him.

Neal shook his head. "No its not…its.."

"What else would it be about? Emma interrupted she knew what he was about to say. She could feel herself beginning to crumble. She could feel her hands starting to tremble so she quickly put them in the pockets of her long coat.

"Us." Neal spoke more softly this time. He bravely reached out with his hand and lifted her chin up towards him.

Emma eyes widen slight before she pushed his hand away. She opened her mouth to speak but her throat dried up. So instantly she closed her mouth again. She had no answer to give to him. Instead she turned away from Neal and leaned on the fencing around the dock.

Quietly clearing her throat Emma found her voice again. "Us? Last time I checked there was no US." She made sure she empathized the word 'US'

"Really?" Neal shot back his reply with dry sarcasm. He watched as Emma's brow creased. He knew he shouldn't be doing this; he was pushing her for a reaction. But something inside him could not stop.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Emma snapped and turned to face him again.

"Come on Emma you can't fool me… You still have feelings for me." He stared blankly at her as if he was challenging her to try to deny it.

"Uh I think that SHIP sailed a long time ago.., believe me…"

Neal tilted his head to the side and smirked. "If it makes you feel better Tamara is jealous of you too!"

"I'm not jealous!" Emma voice was now loud. Her frustrations were an easy target for him and he knew exactly what buttons to push. "I'm just trying to warn you." She continued in a low voice. She did not want to attract any attention towards them.

"From what?" Neal snapped suddenly as a new wave of frustration overcame him. "Don't you think I would have noticed that my fiancé was going round hurting people? Dammit Emma!" He was now so exasperated with her. "Why can't you just admit it?"

For a moment Emma did not speak, she could not find the right words. She knew that the sensible thing do was to walk away from this now while her heart was still intact and primarily unhurt. But Emma was tired of being sensible. No matter how much Neal had hurt her, she was still in love with him and she could not deny it any longer.

"Fine… OK you want the truth. Yeah it hurt when I found out about Tamara…" Emma closed her eyes. She could still picture that day in New York. Watching Neal reach out and embrace Tamara. It wrenched something deep inside her. Something she thought no longer existed. It took all her strength not to breakdown. She remembered how she had silently cried herself to sleep that very night.

"And yes your right I am jealous of what you have now," she confessed as she desperately tried to blink away the tears forming in her eyes. It had crushed her seeing Neal live out their dream of settling down with someone other than her. Seeing Tamara have the future that was meant for her, it had broken her heart.

"I'm not used to seeing another woman touch you and…" Emma choked, swallowing hard in the back of her throat as she tried not to imagine Neal with Tamara. How all his love and devotion were now for someone else while she was alone. She had no one to make her feel safe and loved, yes she had her family but it was not the same. "I miss what we had…"

Neal thought about interrupting her to tell her she would find someone someday, someone who deserved her, someone better than him. But the words would not come and he couldn't understand why he couldn't bring himself to say it. Just like Emma he could not bear the thought of her with someone else.

"So there you go… Of course I still love you… And in spite of everything that has happened between us. .. I've never stopped…" The realisation almost caused Emma to sob. She was not entirely sure where she had found the last once of strength to hold herself together a little longer. She refused to let him see her cry.

Neal shuffled closer to her and reached up taking her face in both of his hands, cradling in gently. The tears began to run down Emma's pale cheeks. Softly he wipes them away with the pad of his thumb. His brown eyes flickered over her cheeks for a moment before they return to meet her emerald-green ones. Her eyes now glisten with moisture.

"Emma I…I.." Neal desperately tried to find the right words. A part of him wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go. He knew this was probably one of the biggest mistakes he was about to make but he had made a promise to Tamara. It would not be fair on her or Emma. "I'm sorry... I'd give anything for things to back to the way they were...but"

"I know! Emma interrupted him, she knew was he was about to say and she could not bear to hear it. "We can't go back." She sighed as she freed herself from his hands.

"So…" Neal said warily. This all felt too familiar to him.

"So…" Emma folded her arms across her chest, ready to protect herself from the pain that was coming. She had been here before.

"Where do we go from here?" Neal asked bluntly.

"I…I don't know," Emma hesitated.

"Emma I…"All of sudden Neal's phone when off in his pocket. As he quickly took his phone out of his pocket he saw the name 'Tamara' flashing across the screen.

"Sorry I need to get this…" He said as he sadly looked at Emma before answering the phone. "Hey Honey…"

Emma smiled sadly, she now had her answer. It's was a harsh, but not one that she wasn't already use to. That loving someone, sometimes just wasn't enough. But she knew one thing in spite of her jealously she was right about Tamara and she was going to prove it.

"I should be back at Granny's in an hour… ok I'll see you soon." Neal quickly hung up the phone and turned back to face Emma but she gone.

Quickly his eyes searched the dock for her before they focused on the sight of her long blonde hair cascading gracefully down her back as she began to disappear in the distance.

Neal sighed to himself and ran his hand through his hair. Emma still loved him and of course he still loved her. _When did anything get so complicated_? Despite the muddled confusion in his mind, he knew Emma was right something was wrong, very wrong…


End file.
